Heterosexuality is never a option. Insane Fangirl. Crocodile Lover.
Why The Mandarin needed to be portrayed as he was in Iron Man 3
or, why the MCU didn’t ruin your favorite supervillain.
below the cut: Iron Man 3 spoilers, discussion of cultural appropriation, narrative arc, and analysis of how ridiculously, wonderfully meta the advertising scheme of IM3 was.
(via bartonesque)
(via jojenobrien)
If you actually think physical attractiveness is important in a relationship, you are not shallow. To make a good relationship last you have to be physically and mentally attracted to the person. I am tired of seeing people being called shallow simply because they are looking for someone attractive to them, mentally and physically.
You are shallow when physical attractiveness is the only thing that keeps you two together.
(via sherlyscrewed)
My favorite part of the Hunger Games is the fact that the books aren’t supposed to be all about the love triangle yet that’s the only thing the media really cares about.
DO YOU ALL REALIZE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE CAPITOL PAID ATTENTION TO TOO. THEIR MAIN FOCUS WAS THAT DAMN LOVE TRIANGLE AND OUR MEDIA DOES THE SAME THING. I DON’T LIKE HOW SIMILAR THESE TWO ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY STOP THIS.
(via eriemaxwell)
The saga of saying “I don’t want kids”
Jen Kirkman has written a book that I’ve yet to read, but I’m still 99.9% sure I will love. Currently, I’m waiting for it to arrive at my house, but until then, I was lucky enough to read a piece she wrote for Time about how women who don’t want kids are usually prodded with questions and the ever-so-tiring, “Oh, you’ll change your mind” song and dance.
Oh, that song and dance. Here’s the thing about that song and dance: it is disrespectful as fuck.
When you say, “You’ll change your mind” — regardless of whether it has to do with someone wanting a wedding, a donut, or a child, it translates to, “You’re not someone who’s capable of making adult decisions.” As if that person knows because maybe they had the same idea once and THEY changed their minds. And if they did, congratulations. That’s terrific. That’s also their call/path/journey. Theirs. Exclusively. Not mine. Not someone else’s. Theirs. That’d be like if I told someone who hated cabbage that because I used to hate cabbage and now I love cabbage that they’ll love cabbage too. Odds are they’ll still hate cabbage. And me too, probably, for trying to make them eat coleslaw.
I’ve said I don’t want my own kids for as long as I can remember. Even if my Barbies had kids, there was also another Barbie to take care of those kids, and my Barbie still just went to work and she and her husband hung out, and it was almost like they didn’t have kids at all. Throughout elementary school and high school I was the first to say I saw myself either child-free or as a step-mom (think of me like Liz Lemon when she says, “This is my husband, Saul Rosenbear, and this is his son, Dennis, from a previous marriage”), though never the biological mother of kids of my own. Even now, as my friends start to have kids, I feel the same. I figure if I really want children, I’ll happily adopt. But according to me wanting to shout, “SHUT UP” to a screaming baby in a store, all signs point to me not exactly being mother material.
This doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me selfish. Or mean. It makes me honest. And despite knowing that, I partake in the song-and-dance routine every time somebody says, “Ah, but you’ll change your mind.” The song and dance that has recently transformed as of late.
Since being diagnosed as bipolar last year, the condescending head tilts have morphed into “poor you” pity nods when I say I’m really not interested in discontinuing my medication for nine months; that I’m not interested in the post-partum depression; that I don’t know if I want to chance passing the disorder down. All of a sudden, then, it’s okay. It’s acceptable that I don’t want to have children, and it wasn’t before because then, I simply “didn’t want them.” So why now? Because I’m “damaged” or “forced into a choice”? I’m not, and I haven’t been. And while what I’m saying is true — all of those things are absolute factors in not wanting kids, there’s another big factor involved, too: I don’t want children. Point blank.
“But you’d make a great mom!” some of my friends with kids have told me. Maybe. But are you really willing to chance that when I consider not eating at a restaurant because there’s only one table left, and it’s next to one with two kids under four?
“But it’s different when they’re yours!” Okay. But again, do you really want to see if I WON’T stare down my own infant when she’s screaming in the mall? (And in my defence, I’m usually staring down the parents for ignoring their child’s cries.)
“But you’re supposed to have kids.” Says which person? Who said that? Because we have the parts do it? Around my house there are probably enough parts to make a robot. Should I make a robot? (Okay, see, that’s a trick question because obviously everyone should be building robots.)
“Why do you hate kids?” I don’t. Kids are great — I like my friends’ kids a lot. Kids are terrific, and smart, and they’re insightful. They’re inspiring, and they can redeem a lot of terrible adult shit. I also like (LOVE) my cat, but if he did more than just lay around, bat a toy mouse around, eat, and watch birds, I’d make him pay room and board, and we’d probably argue a lot. And that’s okay — I know that.
Ultimately, I know myself, and most people who know they don’t want kids, know themselves enough to make grown-up choices. Having children is personal — especially if you’re a woman, since it involves growing a human being in your uterus and pushing it out of your vagina nine months later. That decision isn’t for everyone, and that’s the beauty of living in a world where we’re allowed individual thought.
So when “you’ll change your mind” or “I used to be like you” or any number of “I know better/you know nothing”-esque comments are delivered to someone who doesn’t see kids on the horizon, remember that “I don’t want kids” is a personal call only the person making gets to have opinions on. And that no one person’s reasons are better, and no one person is more apt to change their mind than another, and that even if a mind eventually becomes changed, that has nothing to do with you, your held tilt, and that terrible “Aw, that’s adorable” reaction.
Because remember: you said you didn’t like cabbage. So I’m respecting that, and I’m not serving you coleslaw.
(via detectivebuttcop)
said the skinny white boy with brand-name clothes
said the boy who felt fucking insecure
WOAH WOAH KIDS WOAH SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP BOYS CAN BE INSECURE EVEN IF THEY HAVE WHITE SKIN AND IF THEYRE SKINNY AND IF THEY HAVE BRANDNAME CLOTHSE AND EVEN IF THEY HAD EYES MADE OF GOLD AND FINGERTIPS OF LIGHTNING THEY CAN BE LIKE “hey i feel stupid today” OR OR SOMETHING IDK BUT THEY CAN FEEL BAD OK JUST LIKE A GIRL WHOS BLACK AND WEARS RAGS CAN OK
Let’s clarify this some:
Feeling secure, and mental health in general, isn’t really correlated with the level of social privilege that you have. That is not how mental health works, and deriding someone who is privileged for expressing pain is derailing and detrimental to both conversations of how to address kyriarchy and conversations of how to address mental health.
Thank you.
(via suicidallyreckless)
let me just lay this out here for you guys: the teen wolf universe is kind of built on a cycle of abuse.
gerard manipulates kate who seduces derek so she can kill his family which triggers a murdering spree in peter hale (though we know he was already kinda dark anyway) who bites scott mccall against his will who is told by derek hale that he should be grateful for his violent attack and species change and then scott lies to allison who starts to wonder what the fuck is going on in this town she just moved to but kate actively manipulates allison and ultimately shapes allison’s first impression of what werewolves inherently are until allison realizes hey maybe kate’s got this wrong but then she has to watch peter, a werewolf, rip her aunt’s throat out which is YOU KNOW KIND OF TRAUMATIC and then allison’s grandfather comes on the scene to pick up manipulating allison SOME MORE which is made SUPER easy by the fact that DEREK KEEPS BITING KIDS IN HER GRADE and then those kids pretty much go from being nobodies to being werewolves TRYING TO HUNT DOWN ALLISON’S FRIENDS so when derek bites allison’s mom to save scott, but nobody tells allison about the to-save-scott part, all allison is left with in the wake of scott fighting with her in 2x08 (when she was just doing what he encouraged her to do by going on a date with a dude who, though she was unaware at the time, WAS LITERALLY STALKING HER AND MURDERING DOZENS OF PEOPLE AROUND TOWN BY CONTROLLING JACKSON-AS-KANIMA) is some letter that fucking gerard gives her, so she goes on a vengeance spree for one night before gerard’s plan is revealed in full and scott forces derek to bite gerard.
i see a lot of people picking and choosing “forgivable things” from this chain reaction, but mostly i don’t think that’s the point. abuse begets abuse, and i don’t think that any of these characters are necessarily supposed to be “forgiven” so much as they’re supposed to be understood. i don’t really feel like any of the things i’ve listed above have ever been painted by the show as being “good” or “heroic.” i think we’ve always known when characters were doing shitty things, and i think we’re supposed to see the tragedy in this cycle - in the way that these things get to our favorite characters and put them in impossible positions.
scott said it himself: nobody trusts anybody. that’s the problem.
but really, when you look at it, what the fuck is there to trust? where do you start to pick up the pieces and really sort things out? why should the job of apologizing for her actions and redeeming herself be put, by the fandom, so strongly on allison’s shoulders when we’ve sat there and watched - step by step - as she was lied to and manipulated by everyone who told her, at every turn and in every way, to trust them?
(via detectivebuttcop)
I’ve already seen some people do this kind of a gifset with fandoms, so I decided to do something similar. These are fandoms in which I may not have been from the beginning, but I will stay to the very end. Because that’s what being a fan is about. :)
(via math-smitt)
One of the most asinine arguments used against Gaga is the “Lady Gaga thinks she represents gay people” argument. This is an argument founded on the belief that Gaga thinks she is “teh leader of teh gayz” because she stands up and speaks out against inequality. No, this argument is not based on Gaga’s own philosophies, rather on the destructive and self-deprecating idea that anyone who dares stand up for your rights is a “pretentious try hard exploiting the less fortunate”. Unfortunately, this idea is heralded by many non-Gaga fans who feel Lady Gaga has no right standing up for, well, what is right.
The biggest problem with this argument, apart from the fact that it makes no sense, is that it is often used by people who know nothing about Gaga and the connection she has with her fans, most of whom are gay. Over the past five years, Gaga has met with thousands and thousands of young LGBT boys and girls who have told her about their struggles as a queer person, and as someone who views the relationship with their fans as symbiotic, Gaga feels compelled to speak out in their defense. What people don’t understand is that Lady Gaga only represents those who want her to represent them. Maybe you don’t want to be represented by Gaga because you don’t need to be, or maybe you just don’t like her. Great, that is your choice, but guess what, not everyone is the same. Many young LGBT boys and girls gravitate towards Gaga because they need a voice, because they need someone to represent them, and that too is great.
Above is a great video that hasn’t been seen by very many where Gaga addresses the very argument explained above. No, Lady Gaga does not see herself as “the voice”, she sees herself as “a voice” for herself and those who need her, and as a voice, she is doing her part to make the world/her country a better place for those who are not afforded the same opportunities as she.
Does that make her pretentious? No, it makes it her a good fucking person.
(via suicidallyreckless)
During the act of reading engaging fiction, we can lose all sense of time. By the final chapter of the right book, we feel changed in our own lives, even if what we’ve read is entirely made up.
Research says that’s because while you’re engaged in fiction—unlike nonfiction—you’re given a safe arena to experience emotions without the need for self-protection. Since the events you’re reading about do not follow you into your own life, you can feel strong emotions freely.
The key metric the researchers used is “emotionally transported,” or how deeply connected we are to the story. Previous research has shown that when we read stories about people experiencing specific emotions or events it triggers activity in our brains as if we were right there in the thick of the action.
—New study by Dutch researchers confirms previous theories that reading fiction makes you a better person by expanding your capacity for empathy.
Also see how storytelling makes us human.
(via siriusbingers)
(via johanirae)
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS?
I mean, can we just talk about how this parallels the actual education system? Where they’re so concerned about teaching us things like logarithms and graphing that we don’t know shit about what’s actually out there in the adult world, like doing taxes or writing checks or anything? I mean, “It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations, which after all, is what school is all about.” School children are often under the impression that getting A’s in all their classes ensures a successful future, but really, it’s so ignorant because the real world isn’t just one big question-and-answer paper. There is so much more to the world than being able to give back information like some kind of super-computer, and brainwashing children into thinking that theory is key is just going to lead to a bunch of children falling flat on their faces when they’re pushed into the adult world and feel as if everything new they try to do is wrong because it wasn’t taught to them step-by-step. I just really love Harry’s line, “And how is theory supposed to prepare us for what’s out there?” because I feel as if sometimes we just learn things for the sake of knowing them, despite whether it is actually useful. Yes, school is important, and getting bad grades isn’t a good way to start your future, but it’s so much more than that, you see.
this sounds a lot like something Hermione would say
I think that’s the reason why everyone has such strong negative feelings toward Umbridge (as a person, not a character). I can’t tell you how many times I heard people say that they wanted Umbridge to die more than Voldemort. And I must say that I feel the same.
Voldemort is a racist dictator. While these have existed, and still do, the majority of us don’t live under such a tyrant. We’ve heard about them in history books and on the news- but they’re already dead or on the other side of the world. While we can be horrified at the terror such a person can spread and how, well, evil they can be, a character of this archetype doesn’t strike a personal chord with most of us.
But Umbridge does. As stated before, she represents everything that we hate about the public school system. Most of us know or have a teacher, professor, principal, or school administrator who, to probably a lesser degree, personifies what Umbridge is saying. They teach only to the test, or tell teachers to do so, they insist on including useless things in their curriculums, they PASS LAWS SO THAT SUCH A SCHOOL SYSTEM CAN CONTINUE. This is something that affects nearly every public school in the US, (and I’m guessing the UK as well). Nearly every student has to go through school learning things that they will never use in real life and that in no way prepare them for the real world, just so the various boards of education can use the higher test scores as ‘proof’ that we’re ‘smarter’ than other states, countries, etc., and therefore deserve more funding.
We hate Umbridge so much (again, as a person, not a character) because she represents a villain we all have in our own lives. Possibly every single person who has read this book can connect with the frustration Harry and the other students feel.
We hate Umbridge so much because everything she is, everything she represents, is very real and very personal to every single one of us.
(via greencarnations)
An argument for werewolf prophylactics:
I don’t want to spoil the end of agentotter’s excellent fic, Five Times Stiles Doesn’t Actually Need A Condom (And One Time He Does) but, spoiler, Stiles gets it on with a werewolf, and they use a condom. Stiles has good reasons for insisting on a condom in that fic, but I would like present a general argument for this fictionally uncommon practice.
- Derek tells us that werewolves are immune to disease: immune does not mean incapable of transmitting.
- And really, anyone who tells you they are a special exception to using condoms is definitely someone you should be using condoms with.
- Derek tells us werewolves are immune to disease. Here are some other things Derek has told us about biology:
- Lycanthropy takes away epilepsy.
- The bite turns you or kills you, there is no third option.
- A snake is immune to its own venom.
Derek failed Basic Werewolf Biology.
This is an excellent and well-reasoned post. I feel like the second point is particularly important. Also, there should be a sexual ban on anybody who argues against a condom by saying, “Don’t you trust me?” Like if that happens, you should immediately get out of bed, put your clothes on, and NOPE right the fuck out of there. This should go in with John Waters’ proposed rule about how if you go home with somebody and they don’t own any books, you shouldn’t fuck them. :D
Thank you Disney. It took 70 years and a push from Pixar, but you FINALLY gave us a mother/daughter adventure.
Bless you for not killing her/making her evil/pushing her off to the side.
I just want to take a moment to have some serious gushing about the symbolism in this movie, because this gifset is actually really good for it. I was watching the commentary the other day after buying this movie, and there’s a point where they mention how you can TELL Elinor used to be feisty and quite fiery in her youth, much like her very headstrong daughter, but everything about her now is that of a dignified lady who has had to rein herself in to be the diplomat for their kingdom.
Early in the film, you see her walk in a very closed fashion. She holds herself tightly, does not gesture broadly, rarely speaks up. Even her weighted, heavy dress and the way she wears her hair show her as being restrained by the duties she has put upon herself.
Then… the events of the movie occur, and in the end, you see her in a loose flowing dress that seems almost more like something Merida would wear. She’s excitable, going out and doing things with her daughter, and her long hair is no longer tied back, but instead neatly pinned and flowing. In essence, Elinor herself opened up. She let go and found herself becoming more accepting.
Merida wasn’t the only person who learned a lesson about family and responsibility in this movie. Elinor learned that she had to let go now and then in order to relate to, and to understand, her daughter better. It wasn’t just Merida growing up, it was Elinor finding that middle ground and standing firmly on it, supporting her daughter’s beliefs when she realized that Merida wasn’t the only one who hadn’t listened.
She hadn’t, either, and Merida was not the only one at fault. The result was not just a one sided lesson, but a beautiful, rounded story of a mother and a daughter finding out that their differences are what really make them so alike, and finding that place to stand together. Maybe they won’t always see eye to eye, but they’ve now learned that they must have open conversation and understanding to hold their family together, and both women grew up immensely in that moment of realization.
In short: it’s not just my own Scottish heritage that makes me love this movie. It’s that this film is so indicative of the relationships so many young women feel themselves in with their mothers, and I personally am no exception. Elinor and Merida speak to women and daughters everywhere, young and old, and the lesson they learn is one we can all adhere to, no matter how hard it sometimes feels to accept that.
I have something in my eye.
Remember when I went to go see this movie with my mom and she had no idea what it was going to be about because she wanted to see “snow white and the huntsman” instead? And then ALL WE DID WAS HOLD HANDS AND CRY???
It actually really, really frustrates me sometimes because every single one of my male friends wrinkle their nose when this movie comes up as one of my favourite Pixar films of all time. They’re all like, ‘the story though - the story wasn’t interesting’ and I just want to strangle them and go, ‘to you maybe, but that might be because for THE FUCKING FIRST TIME PIXAR ACTUALLY SPOKE DIRECTLY TO A FEMALE AUDIENCE AND THEY FUCKING NAILED IT SO HARD THE HOUSE FELL THE FUCK DOWN’.
(via blissfullybesotted)
(via adayinthelesbianlife)
(via mygayshoes)