Why The Mandarin needed to be portrayed as he was in Iron Man 3
If you actually think physical attractiveness is important in a relationship, you are not shallow. To make a good relationship last you have to be physically and mentally attracted to the person. I am tired of seeing people being called shallow simply because they are looking for someone attractive to them, mentally and physically.
You are shallow when physical attractiveness is the only thing that keeps you two together.
My favorite part of the Hunger Games is the fact that the books aren’t supposed to be all about the love triangle yet that’s the only thing the media really cares about.
DO YOU ALL REALIZE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT THE CAPITOL PAID ATTENTION TO TOO. THEIR MAIN FOCUS WAS THAT DAMN LOVE TRIANGLE AND OUR MEDIA DOES THE SAME THING. I DON’T LIKE HOW SIMILAR THESE TWO ARE BECOMING SERIOUSLY STOP THIS.
The saga of saying “I don’t want kids”
Jen Kirkman has written a book that I’ve yet to read, but I’m still 99.9% sure I will love. Currently, I’m waiting for it to arrive at my house, but until then, I was lucky enough to read a piece she wrote for Time about how women who don’t want kids are usually prodded with questions and the ever-so-tiring, “Oh, you’ll change your mind” song and dance.
Oh, that song and dance. Here’s the thing about that song and dance: it is disrespectful as fuck.
When you say, “You’ll change your mind” — regardless of whether it has to do with someone wanting a wedding, a donut, or a child, it translates to, “You’re not someone who’s capable of making adult decisions.” As if that person knows because maybe they had the same idea once and THEY changed their minds. And if they did, congratulations. That’s terrific. That’s also their call/path/journey. Theirs. Exclusively. Not mine. Not someone else’s. Theirs. That’d be like if I told someone who hated cabbage that because I used to hate cabbage and now I love cabbage that they’ll love cabbage too. Odds are they’ll still hate cabbage. And me too, probably, for trying to make them eat coleslaw.
I’ve said I don’t want my own kids for as long as I can remember. Even if my Barbies had kids, there was also another Barbie to take care of those kids, and my Barbie still just went to work and she and her husband hung out, and it was almost like they didn’t have kids at all. Throughout elementary school and high school I was the first to say I saw myself either child-free or as a step-mom (think of me like Liz Lemon when she says, “This is my husband, Saul Rosenbear, and this is his son, Dennis, from a previous marriage”), though never the biological mother of kids of my own. Even now, as my friends start to have kids, I feel the same. I figure if I really want children, I’ll happily adopt. But according to me wanting to shout, “SHUT UP” to a screaming baby in a store, all signs point to me not exactly being mother material.
This doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me selfish. Or mean. It makes me honest. And despite knowing that, I partake in the song-and-dance routine every time somebody says, “Ah, but you’ll change your mind.” The song and dance that has recently transformed as of late.
Since being diagnosed as bipolar last year, the condescending head tilts have morphed into “poor you” pity nods when I say I’m really not interested in discontinuing my medication for nine months; that I’m not interested in the post-partum depression; that I don’t know if I want to chance passing the disorder down. All of a sudden, then, it’s okay. It’s acceptable that I don’t want to have children, and it wasn’t before because then, I simply “didn’t want them.” So why now? Because I’m “damaged” or “forced into a choice”? I’m not, and I haven’t been. And while what I’m saying is true — all of those things are absolute factors in not wanting kids, there’s another big factor involved, too: I don’t want children. Point blank.
“But you’d make a great mom!” some of my friends with kids have told me. Maybe. But are you really willing to chance that when I consider not eating at a restaurant because there’s only one table left, and it’s next to one with two kids under four?
“But it’s different when they’re yours!” Okay. But again, do you really want to see if I WON’T stare down my own infant when she’s screaming in the mall? (And in my defence, I’m usually staring down the parents for ignoring their child’s cries.)
“But you’re supposed to have kids.” Says which person? Who said that? Because we have the parts do it? Around my house there are probably enough parts to make a robot. Should I make a robot? (Okay, see, that’s a trick question because obviously everyone should be building robots.)
“Why do you hate kids?” I don’t. Kids are great — I like my friends’ kids a lot. Kids are terrific, and smart, and they’re insightful. They’re inspiring, and they can redeem a lot of terrible adult shit. I also like (LOVE) my cat, but if he did more than just lay around, bat a toy mouse around, eat, and watch birds, I’d make him pay room and board, and we’d probably argue a lot. And that’s okay — I know that.
Ultimately, I know myself, and most people who know they don’t want kids, know themselves enough to make grown-up choices. Having children is personal — especially if you’re a woman, since it involves growing a human being in your uterus and pushing it out of your vagina nine months later. That decision isn’t for everyone, and that’s the beauty of living in a world where we’re allowed individual thought.
So when “you’ll change your mind” or “I used to be like you” or any number of “I know better/you know nothing”-esque comments are delivered to someone who doesn’t see kids on the horizon, remember that “I don’t want kids” is a personal call only the person making gets to have opinions on. And that no one person’s reasons are better, and no one person is more apt to change their mind than another, and that even if a mind eventually becomes changed, that has nothing to do with you, your held tilt, and that terrible “Aw, that’s adorable” reaction.
Because remember: you said you didn’t like cabbage. So I’m respecting that, and I’m not serving you coleslaw.
let me just lay this out here for you guys: the teen wolf universe is kind of built on a cycle of abuse.
gerard manipulates kate who seduces derek so she can kill his family which triggers a murdering spree in peter hale (though we know he was already kinda dark anyway) who bites scott mccall against his will who is told by derek hale that he should be grateful for his violent attack and species change and then scott lies to allison who starts to wonder what the fuck is going on in this town she just moved to but kate actively manipulates allison and ultimately shapes allison’s first impression of what werewolves inherently are until allison realizes hey maybe kate’s got this wrong but then she has to watch peter, a werewolf, rip her aunt’s throat out which is YOU KNOW KIND OF TRAUMATIC and then allison’s grandfather comes on the scene to pick up manipulating allison SOME MORE which is made SUPER easy by the fact that DEREK KEEPS BITING KIDS IN HER GRADE and then those kids pretty much go from being nobodies to being werewolves TRYING TO HUNT DOWN ALLISON’S FRIENDS so when derek bites allison’s mom to save scott, but nobody tells allison about the to-save-scott part, all allison is left with in the wake of scott fighting with her in 2x08 (when she was just doing what he encouraged her to do by going on a date with a dude who, though she was unaware at the time, WAS LITERALLY STALKING HER AND MURDERING DOZENS OF PEOPLE AROUND TOWN BY CONTROLLING JACKSON-AS-KANIMA) is some letter that fucking gerard gives her, so she goes on a vengeance spree for one night before gerard’s plan is revealed in full and scott forces derek to bite gerard.
i see a lot of people picking and choosing “forgivable things” from this chain reaction, but mostly i don’t think that’s the point. abuse begets abuse, and i don’t think that any of these characters are necessarily supposed to be “forgiven” so much as they’re supposed to be understood. i don’t really feel like any of the things i’ve listed above have ever been painted by the show as being “good” or “heroic.” i think we’ve always known when characters were doing shitty things, and i think we’re supposed to see the tragedy in this cycle - in the way that these things get to our favorite characters and put them in impossible positions.
scott said it himself: nobody trusts anybody. that’s the problem.
but really, when you look at it, what the fuck is there to trust? where do you start to pick up the pieces and really sort things out? why should the job of apologizing for her actions and redeeming herself be put, by the fandom, so strongly on allison’s shoulders when we’ve sat there and watched - step by step - as she was lied to and manipulated by everyone who told her, at every turn and in every way, to trust them?
During the act of reading engaging fiction, we can lose all sense of time. By the final chapter of the right book, we feel changed in our own lives, even if what we’ve read is entirely made up.
Research says that’s because while you’re engaged in fiction—unlike nonfiction—you’re given a safe arena to experience emotions without the need for self-protection. Since the events you’re reading about do not follow you into your own life, you can feel strong emotions freely.
The key metric the researchers used is “emotionally transported,” or how deeply connected we are to the story. Previous research has shown that when we read stories about people experiencing specific emotions or events it triggers activity in our brains as if we were right there in the thick of the action.—
Also see how storytelling makes us human.
An argument for werewolf prophylactics:
I don’t want to spoil the end of agentotter’s excellent fic, Five Times Stiles Doesn’t Actually Need A Condom (And One Time He Does) but, spoiler, Stiles gets it on with a werewolf, and they use a condom. Stiles has good reasons for insisting on a condom in that fic, but I would like present a general argument for this fictionally uncommon practice.
- Derek tells us that werewolves are immune to disease: immune does not mean incapable of transmitting.
- And really, anyone who tells you they are a special exception to using condoms is definitely someone you should be using condoms with.
- Derek tells us werewolves are immune to disease. Here are some other things Derek has told us about biology:
- Lycanthropy takes away epilepsy.
- The bite turns you or kills you, there is no third option.
- A snake is immune to its own venom.
Derek failed Basic Werewolf Biology.
This is an excellent and well-reasoned post. I feel like the second point is particularly important. Also, there should be a sexual ban on anybody who argues against a condom by saying, “Don’t you trust me?” Like if that happens, you should immediately get out of bed, put your clothes on, and NOPE right the fuck out of there. This should go in with John Waters’ proposed rule about how if you go home with somebody and they don’t own any books, you shouldn’t fuck them. :D